“This Above All….To Thine Own Self be True”
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3, Shakespeare
Many people I talk with feel that they have no joy in
their life. They feel obligated to do so many things that
they don’t have time for themselves and the things
they really want to do. As a result, they feel “drained”,
anxious, and resentful. With so many outside forces competing
for their time, energy and financial resources, is it
really any wonder they feel this way?
So what do we do? How can we remain balanced among this
sea of obligations and commitments? The answer is to live
consciously. By looking at each decision we are making
and by asking ourselves, “Is this really what I
want to be doing? Is this really what is right for me?”
And then by making sure our actions stay in alignment
with our true intentions. Saying “yes” when
we mean “no” often causes us not to trust
ourselves. It damages our confidence and lowers our self-esteem.
So why do we do it? From a young age, we are conditioned
to “act” in certain ways in order to feel
loved and accepted. This is the beginning of our loss
of personal power and authenticity. In order to create
change we will need to recondition our beliefs by discovering
what is really true for us. We have provided some key
questions you can ask yourselves in order to become aware
of any patterns and beliefs that no longer work for you.
Once you become aware of these beliefs, you can simply
begin to consciously change them.
Ask yourself “why am I doing this? Is it because…”
1. I will feel guilty if I don’t?
2. Everyone else is doing it, so I should too?
3. I want others to think I am a nice person?
4. I want to feel accepted?
5. I don’t feel good enough about myself to do what
is really right for me?
6. I have trouble saying “no” or being myself
around certain people?
If you have said “yes” to any of the above
questions you are cheating yourself
out of the things that bring you happiness and joy! The
next time you hear yourself saying, ”I love to garden
but…I don’t have time” or “ I
love to golf…but I’m too busy”, remember
you can choose differently. You can choose to believe
you are valuable; what is right for you does matter, and
that your happiness is a priority.
Your life is the culmination of each decision you make
every moment (whether you are aware of what you are choosing
or not). Begin to understand the intention behind every
action you take and make a conscious decision to do only
what is right for you. Gather the courage each moment
and say “no” to anything or anyone that doesn’t
allow you to be yourself, or to live in alignment with
What will you choose? Will you choose to stay in power
by acting with the knowledge that you are responsible
for every action in your life? Or will you continue to
give your power away in order to feel valued and accepted
in the eyes of another?
The choice is yours.